Nang nilisan, nagkapuwang itong naiwan. Ngunit kakulangan huwag panghinayangan. Ang ayaw manahan, dapat pakawalan. ‘Di dapat ipagpilitan kung ‘di rin lang laan. Kaya’t ang puwang tabunan, tuluyang kalimutan.
How valuable are you?
In this world defined by numbers, everything is counted, measured, and labeled.
With single or multiple digits, even or odd, having exponents or subscripts combined with corresponding units, everything is thus quantified. As for quantities unknown, letters are used as representations. These, together with other symbols comprise a formula to solve for some sought after amount; there is one for almost anything, both concrete and abstract. Such are rules that answer questions like when, how many, or how much, and illustrate relationships between things to show us that everything can be, if not precisely calculated, reckoned.
When everyone else’s worth is determined by figures, appraisals of altitude or depth, size or reach, weight or volume, which are interpreted into graphs to further compare and emphasize inequalities, what have you to say about yourself?
Do you believe that who you are, what you have, and what you are capable of can be defined by numbers? How?
How much is the joy in your laughter, the pain in your grief, the honor in your pride, or the fear in your anxiety?
How big is your compassion; how short is your patience? How heavy is your silence; how high is your truth? How narrow is your ideology; how deep is your love?
How many risks have you taken and lessons have you learned from your failures that made you strive to succeed? How far will the endurance of your faith, the strength of your determination and the intensity of your passion take you?
How long ago did your past start? How long will your present last? How long before your future arrives?
How real is your imagination; how fake is your reality?
How valuable do you think you are?
Is that quantifiable?
I’ve waited too long. Already.
Everyday I would imagine how those eyes would suddenly glow, how those lips slowly curve to show delight, how your smile proves that you are glad to see me again.
I keep playing that scene in my head when I wake up in the morning, when I feel the morning sun on my face as I walk to work, when I’m in the middle of laughing at a joke, when I read your words; it feels so good that it would take a moment before I actually notice myself grinning.
Then when we finally met, as it was truly happening, it happened so fast! It happened so fast that I couldn’t grasp the thought that it was real, that you were real.
We talked but I never really remembered what was said. I was just happy to see you, your eyes, your smile. It was just how I imagined it. And now, I replay that scene on my mind, over and over; slowly each time. It feels even better knowing that it happened again, for real. It was real, you are real.
So, again, I will be waiting…
half-blind, you hungered for what you cannot see. in time shall colors burst, and awe shall drain you of all sight–the darkness that you asked for and thus deserved.
paano pa, tapos na.
tapos, paano na?
Because of you.
These words belong to you.
*the number of words in each line correspond to the numbers in the Fibonacci sequence